If You Give An Avenger a Bedazzler
by GeekyChic123
Summary: What happens when you give Tony Stark and Natasha Romanoff a bedazzler, and they decide to prank the rest of the team with it? Nothing good... But something very funny ;) No clear ships in this story, but if you squint you could see hints of Clintasha and Pepperony.


Natasha knew that he was up to something as soon as she walked into the living room, and saw the smug gleeful grin on Tony's face. "What did you do Stark? Were you finally able to buy Rhode Island?" The smugness faded just a bit, and Stark sighed dramatically. "No, tragically for now buying Rhode Island and renaming it Rhodey Island is still nothing more than a beautiful beautiful dream…. If I just keep throwing money at them they're bound to let me buy it eventually." Natasha rolled her eyes, "Yeah, I don't think states work like that Stark. But keep trying, I've got a bet going with Clint about how long until you give up. A few more months and I will be a pretty rich woman…"

He quirked an eyebrow up at her. "I got the impression you were already a pretty rich woman, doesn't Shield pay you for being a freaky super spy?" Natasha rolled her eyes, and plopped gracefully down on the couch next to the arrogant genius. "That's none of your business. So, what ARE you so pleased about then? Did you buy another tower?" Tony was smirking. "Smaller." "What? You bought smaller?" Stark looked seriously annoyed, and opened his mouth probably to tell her how stupid she was, she spoke before he could. "Ok, I was being sarcastic, gosh, got it, you bought something smaller than a tower. Um, a house?"

Stark scoffed, "Well if you're not going to take the game seriously….." Natasha laughed a bit, "Come on, that's not totally impossible! Fine, I'l just name all the stupid stuff men with too much money buy. Sports car? A race horse? An expensive tattoo you're going to regret before the end of the month? A diamond ring?" Tony snorted, "What? Come on, I've already bought all of those things." Natasah perked up at this, Tony raised his hand, alarm on his face. "No, shouldn't have said that, I do not have any tattoos. And if I once did- they are long gone and you will never find out what they were." Natasha smirked at this, already making a mental list of people she could talk to to find out more about the past tattoos of Tony Stark. He interrupted her thoughts, "Wait, a diamond ring? Why the hell would I buy that?"

Natasha smiled gleefully at him, "I don't know, seems like Pepper might want an engagement ring before long." Tony looked vaguely stunned by this suggestion, and she took the opportunity to question him when he was thrown off his guard. "Stop stalling, will you just tell me the stupid thing you bought so I can make fun of the ways you waste your money?"

Tony snapped out of whatever thoughts he was having about Pepper, and engagement rings, and grinned smugly at the Russian. "Fine, I'll tell you, but only because it's so freaking amazing you wouldn't be able to guess what it was in a million years." She interrupted again. "Did you buy everyone on the team a giant stuffed rabbit?" Tony threw his hands up in the air, and leaned back into the couch. "Oh my gosh, that was ONE time, IT WAS SUPPOSED TO BE A CHRISTMAS GIFT. WHAT ELSE DO YOU GET FOR THE GIRL WHO HAS EVERYTHING?" Natasha smirked. "Jewelry?

Tony snorted, "What, is that what bird-brain gets you?" His head dipped down as he nodded towards the arrow necklace hanging around Natasha's neck. Her eyes narrowed dangerously, her hand closed around the charm and her voice sounded threatening. "Shut up Stark, will you just tell me what you bought?"

Satisfied he had managed to throw the super spy off of her game, even for a few seconds, Tony finally relented. "Fine! I bought a bedazzler!"

Natasha just stared at Tony, who was practically jumping out of his seat he was so excited. She opened her mouth, closed it, let the confusion wash over her face, and then spoke. "What the heck is a bedazzled?" Tony was beaming, "THAT is exactly the kind of question I myself would have asked this morning, before I was introduced to the insane invention that television taught me about! It's this thing that you basically fill up with sparkles, and then it's like an applicator gun, and you can stick the sparkles to ANYTHING!" His voice grew hushed, and he leaned in closer to the super spy than she liked, but Natasha was intrigued so she let him finish talking before pushing him out of her face. "You can glue sparkles to anything Spidey. Anything. Can you imagine the possibilities for pranks? I'm thinking I can bedazzle the Captain's door, and see how freaked out he is by that. Might bedazzle the kitchen too, see if Thor or your boyfriend even notice."

Natasha did shove him away then, the boyfriend remark rubbed her the wrong way just a bit. But, she was also disappointed in the man who she had privately thought before might be one of the craziest pranksters she'd ever met. "Really? You disappoint me Stark. You have the power to glue sparkles to anything, ANYTHING, and that's what you come up with? Glitterizing a door and a kitchen?"

Tony looked more than a bit offended at this. "Hey, I just ordered it like ten minutes ago, give me time and I could think of a better prank. I'd like to see YOU do better." At this Natasha arched an eyebrow at him, and a slow smile crept over her face as a potentially dangerous idea entered her head. "Well ok then…. I might have an idea for how you could really use a bedazzler to the best of it's pranking potential, but this prank could blow up in our faces. BUT, it would be one of the best pranks ever,if I decide to do it, and IF I let you help. Initial thoughts?"

She could practically see the wheels turning in his head, he was probably wondering what kind of prank The Black Widow could possibly come up with, and how much trouble she could get him into, with nothing more than glitter and glue. He must have decided it was worth whatever trouble might be the result, because Tony shrugged and reached out a hand for her to shake. "Initial thoughts are that this sounds like it could be awesome, and that I might need to order another bedazzler."

They retreated to Tony's lab, and spent the next few hours planning, arguing, plotting, scheming, fighting, and ordering enough sparkles and bedazzler accessories to cover the entire tower in glitter.

A few days later, Natasha and Tony were sitting in the communal kitchen of Avengers Tower, sipping at coffee, waiting for the rest of the team to wake up and see the surprises the two pranksters had left for them. They had been up late into the night, were exhausted, and frankly never wanted to see a bedazzler, or even hear the word ever again. But neither of them went back to their rooms for much needed sleep- They had put a LOT of work into this prank, so damn it, they were going to stay awake to see the fruits of their labor. Natasha was propping her head up on her hands, and Tony got up to start brewing another pot of coffee.

"Gosh how much do normal people sleep? I swear, if they don't wake up and freak out soon, I'm going to make Jarvis blare rock and roll music in their rooms." Tony groaned, picking up the half full coffee pot. Natasha swallowed the dregs of her coffee, and held out her cup so Tony could fill it again. "Oh, yeah that would be a great idea, do you WANT Banner to have a code green?" They were both exhausted, and a bit on edge, a fight might have broken out, but then a cry echoed throughout the tower.

"NAAAAAAAT, WHAT DID YOU DO?" Natasha smirked, her eyes were dancing. "Well, that should wake a few people up." Before she could say another word, Clint stormed into the room, cradling his bow and a quiver in his arms. The normally black weapon was now coated in hundreds of tiny different shades of purple sparkles, and the quiver had been decorated in an obnoxious pattern of red hearts and green arrows. Clint's face also looked pretty red. Still he tried to stay calm, at least at first.

"Natasha? Why did you do this." She was wearing an innocent look on her face, that would fool almost anyone else, might have fooled Clint if he didn't know her like the back of his hand. "Oh my gosh, Clint, what happened to your bow?" Tony spoke up, "Yeah, you trying to tell us something bird brain? Are you saying you want a new uniform that's bright purple and sparkly? Because I could TOTALLY make that for you."

Clint was fuming now, he reached into a quiver to pull out an arrow to threaten Tony with, but then saw that the arrow was covered in a rainbow of sparkles. Crying out in frustration, the archer threw the arrow to the ground, and hugged his bow to his chest. "Why would you do this?! Did you BOTH do this?! WHAT DID I EVER DO TO YOU NAT, WHY DO YOU HATE ME?"

Natasha took a leisurely sip of her coffee, and was clearly trying not to laugh. "What? I am SO sorry your bow is covered in sparkles, but you don't know Tony or I did this! And I don't hate you! In fact, I think your bow looks very nice like this!" Tony spoke up, "Yeah, it's so sparkly! You could blind someone with all that glitter. Hey! Maybe we should call you Glittereye now!" Clint was fuming, he shouted "WHAT THE HECK, THAT DOESN'T EVEN MAKE ANY SENSE STARK, THAT'S NOT EVEN FUNNY!"

Bruce wandered into the room, confusion on his face. "Guys, what's happening? Why is everyone yelling?" His eyes landed on the bow Clint was holding. "And what the- who- why- Barton, did you bedazzle your bow?" Pure frustration was on the archers face as he turned to Bruce. Laughter was escaping Tony now, Natasha just kept sipping at her coffee. Clint's face just kept getting redder. "Did I what?! WHAT THE HECK IS BEDAZZLING, WHAT DOES THAT WORD EVEN MEAN?!" Tony was laughing too hard to speak, so Natasha filled her partner in.

"Oh, it's like a bedazzler Clint, you know? It's like this toy for crafting, and you use it to glue sparkles to things?" Clint was trying to pick some of the sparkles off of his bow, and was still yelling. "SEE, HOW THE HECK WOULD YOU KNOW WHAT A BEDAZZLER WAS, IF YOU DIDN'T USE ONE ON MY BOW?"

Then, a primal roar echoed through the floor of the tower. If anyone had managed to sleep through Clint's outburst, this one certainly would wake them up. Thor's voice bellowed through the halls, "STARK, WHAT HAS THOU DONE?" Clint paused his rant, Bruce pored himself a cup of coffee, and Natasha broke into a grin. Tony, honestly, looked confused. He turned to Natasha.

"Um- What did I do?" He lowered his voice and hissed in her ear, "What did you do? I thought you were just going to bedazzle his cape in sparkles. He sounds awfully mad for that, whatdidyoudo? Didn't you bedazzle his cape?" Natasha's grin filled her entire face, she looked wide awake now and put her cup of coffee down on the table. She spoke in a hushed voice back at him. "Well… That was the plan, but an opportunity presented itself…."

Suddenly tiny streams of multicolored light filled the room, as if a disco ball had been brought in, the lights were so bright Tony had to lift a hand to shield his eyes. Then, Thor stepped fully into the room and heavily dropped his hammer onto the table. His colorful, extensively bedazzled hammer. Well, MOST of it was bedazzled, except for the one side it must have been resting on.

The color drained from Tony's face, he turned to Natasha who was avoiding making eye contact, intently studying the hammer in front of her, as if she had never seen it before in her life.

Everyone in the room was speechless, even Clint, as he held tight to the sparkly bow in his arms. He turned to Natasha and mouthed "What did you do?" She mouthed back "Nothing, I deny having any part of this." But she looked too gleeful, and honestly maybe too nervous for Clint to believe that lie for a second.

Thor's crazy sleep tousled hair was a mess, and he looked like he was ready to kill someone, but somehow managed to speak without yelling. "Who has vandalized the Mjolnir in this way? The sparkles have been glued to my weapon, I fear I will not be able to remove them without much time, and painful effort. Who has done this?"

No one said a word. Thor's shoulders heaved, as he tried to contain himself, but clearly failed. "Stark? Do you have something you would like to confess to?" Tony nervously took a step back, eyes darting between Natasha, the angry Demigod, and the hammer on the table. It was covered in an intricate chevron pattern with glittery specks in every color of the rainbow. "Um, hey big guy, I didn't do this. Don't you like it? Maybe you did this and forgot about it?"

Thor slammed a hand on the table, causing everything on it to shake dangerously. "I did not do this Stark! Why would you say such a thing? This weapon has been handed down from generation from generation, AND NEVER HAS IT BEEN MISTREATED IN SUCH A WAY! JUST ADMIT YOU DID THIS, SO THAT I CAN PUNISH YOU FOR IT!' Tony looked seriously freaked now, "OH well if you put it that way, um, NO, I DID NOT TOUCH YOUR HAMMER THOR!"

Clint let out a snort of laughter at this choice of words, Natasha shot him a look, wondering how she put up with this man who had the maturity of a 12 year old. Then Clint got serious again, and clutched his bow to his chest. "Oh, come on, stop lying! Who else would do this?! We know it was you two! LOOK AT WHAT THEY DID TO MY BOW THOR, IT'S RUINED!" Thor hardly glanced at the weapon. "That is most unfortunate, and makes me think as your weapon is also covered in sparkles, these events might be related to one another. Natasha, Tony, are you playing a joke on us? If so it is not funny."

Tony scoffed, "Excuse me? Why do you just assume we would play a joke on your guys? And why would we play a joke on you together? Spidey and I hate each other! Right?" Natasha didn't pause, "Yup." Tony pointed at her, as if to emphasize his point. "See?! We couldn't prank you guys if we wanted to! I would probably end up doing most of the work, and she wouldn't listen to me, and would change the plans so the prank was WAY more dangerous than the one I planned."

Natasha glared at him. "Well maybe if we did work together I would have wanted to do a prank that was actually funny, and let's be honest I probably would have done most all of the work, when Tony was busy messing around with industrial strength glue in his lab."

Clint moaned, "Industrial strength glue? Aww, bow, I'm never going to fix you….."

Then everyone was yelling, about super glue, and ancient weapons millions of years old, and glitter everywhere, and people were denying they had anything to do with this, it was chaos. Bruce removed himself from the room, amused by the entire situation, but suddenly worried he might have had something of his own bedazzled and had just missed seeing it before. He left the room to search for signs his property had been vandalized, and the fight raged on.

Suddenly yet another anguished cry tore through the floor of Avengers tower, but the team was so busy fighting none of them heard the outraged cry of "NATASHAAAAAAAA" Well, ok, Natasha actually did hear, but chose to ignore it for a moment. She was highly amused by this entire situation, but this fight was getting pretty heated, and she was wondering if the prank had been worth it….. Tony had basically already decided this prank was NOT worth it, and was contemplating calling one of his suits before a Demigod tried to rip his head off. Meanwhile Thor was still yelling about his rainbow hammer, and Clint was drinking coffee directly from the pot, too distraught to even try and find a mug.

Then, just when the argument had reached it's peak, Steve entered the room, and whipped something around the room. Something large, and round, something red white and blue, and bedazzled in sparkles. It was thrown expertly, and thought it did not hit any of the Avengers, it got close enough to startle them, and make them shut up long enough for Steve to speak and actually be heard. The Shield bounced off of a counter, and Steve reached out to catch it before it fell to the ground. The room was silent. Clint and Thor looked shocked, and Natasha was trying to stifle a laugh. Tony meanwhile was wondering why he had ever thought this was a good idea, and was seriously contemplating calling for one of his suits before Captain America actually killed him.

Steve was holding his shield the way he always did, but the pose he was in looked much less heroic than it usually did. Possibly because he was wearing a t-shirt and pajama bottoms, but probably because his shield had been utterly bedazzled.

It had taken Natasha hours to do last night, and the results now were simply stunning. The intricate layers of red white and blue were skillfully layered, and from a distance the shield might not have looked any different than normal. Until it moved, or light shone on it, or you actually opened your eyes and realized it was glittery and sparkling. Ok, yeah, it looked nothing like it normally did, because normally Steve's shield did not look like it had been dunked in glittery beads. Still, the amount of detail that had been put in was impressive.

But Steve was not impressed. He was however strangely calm. His eyes scanned the room, took in the fact that Thor and Clint were also victims of this prank, and that Tony looked guiltier than usual. Natasha was pretty hard to read, but a smirk was playing at the edge of her lips, so Steve assumed this was at least partially her fault. Because come on, who else could sneak into his room and take his shield without waking him up? Yeah, this was actually probably all her fault. Still, Steve tried not to lose his temper.

"Did you really think this was a good idea?" He asked. Tony spoke snarkily before anyone could respond. "Having fun little meetings like this before breakfast? No, thinking I'll try to avoid these in the future." Steve clenched his jaw, and hoisted the shield closer to Tony's eye level. "That's not what I was talking about Stark. Did you think it was a good idea to cover our stuff in glitter?"

Tony shrugged, "Um, first of all, your stuff is not covered in glitter. Your stuff is bedazzled. Second of all, why does everyone think that I did this?! I'm always the victim!" Steve glanced over at Natasha, who was studiously examining the shield, as if she had never seen it before. She almost had Steve fooled, but yeah, no way was this not at least partially her fault. Captain America just rolled his eyes at her, and turned to Tony.

"Stark, do you have anything that will remove these- bedazzles, or whatever you call them?" Stark made a pouty face. "You want to remove them? But they look so nice, and I am sure whoever put them on was up very late into the wee hours of the morning applying them! Sure you don't want to enjoy them for a couple more minutes?"

Then everyone was yelling again, Natasha was smugly enjoying the scene, and Tony was arguing about how the team should appreciate their "upgraded" weapons, and wishing he had thought of a way to remove super industrial strength glue from weapons before using the new glue to bedazzle with. And then, a final cry of anger carried through the floor of the tower.

"TONY, WHY DID YOU DO THIS?" As Bruce's voice bellowed through the tower, the rest of the team froze, and all eyes turned to Tony who looked uneasy all of a sudden. Natasha was the one who spoke. "Tony. We talked about this. Did you bedazzle something to antagonize a man who could become a monster powerful enough to rip this tower apart?" He gulped, shot a guilty look around the room, and shrugged. "I might have done something like that?" She punched him in the shoulder, not hard enough to break anything, but hard enough to knock the breath out of him. "You idiot! We agreed NOT to do anything that could cause a code green!" Tony yelled back at her, "WELL I GUESS I FORGOT, AND THOUGHT THIS WOULD BE FUNNY!'

Before Bruce could come in, hopefully before he could hulk out, Jarvis spoke up. "Mr. Stark, excuse me, but Director Fury is calling and says he must speak to you, it's urgent." Tony groaned, "Oh gosh, what now? Tell the pirate to get someone else to save the world for once." Jarvis spoke, "I am sorry sir, I am being overridden, the Director is now-"

Then Fury's voice filled the room. "Stark, we need the team to come in. Now. Hydra has been running an underground base in New York City, if you get there within the next hour or so you should be able to catch them off guard. We need all of you to report to HQ within 20 minutes." And with that the call ended. Fury wasn't one for unneeded conversation.

The team stared blankly at each other for a beat, then Steve spoke up. "You used industrial strength glue on our weapons?" Tony scratched the back of his neck. "In hindsight, that might not have been the best idea…" Steve interrupted, "And there's no way you can get these- sparkles, off in the next 20 minutes?" Tony shrugged. "I invented the glue, it's kind of the best glue ever made…"

Steve sighed heavily, Clint and Thor stared sadly down at their weapons. "You didn't mess with our uniforms, did you?" The Captain asked, narrowing his eyes at Natasha. She rolled hers back at him. "Gosh, no. How much spare time do you think we have?" Behind her Tony was smacking his forehead. "UNIFORMS! WHY didn't we think of doing those?" Steve ignored this, and tried to pick a few sparkles off of his shield.

"Ok, Avengers, suit up. We have a job to do, we'll just have to make the most of it." Captain America glared at Natasha and Tony and pointed a finger at them. "But, don't think you two are off the hook. You are going to pay for this." Tony lifted an eyebrow at this statement, Natasha rolled her eyes as she stood up to go get her guns. "Ok, yeah, sure Cap. I'm so scared. Just don't prank us too hard, ok?"

The Avengers made headlines that day, not just for the job they did wiping out a nest of Hydra workers, but also for their unique choice of weapons. Articles were written about their glittery weapons, memes were made about Hawkeye's sparkly bow, and The Hulks totally bedazzled shorts. Debates were made, questioning if Thor's hammer was more or less powerful with sparkles on it.

Many people wondered why The Black Widow and Iron Man had been excluded from the bedazzling fun. People wondered if they would sport anything sparkly on a future mission.

Their question was answered when a couple of weeks later the team was on a job in Africa. All weapons were now back to normal, but Iron Man and Black Widow were sporting new uniforms. Well, honestly they were their usual uniforms, only covered in what had to be thousands of sparkles and shiny beads, and gobs of glitter. Neither looked very happy about their new outfit, but the rest of the team looked positively gleeful.


End file.
